Good copy can't be written with tongue in cheek, written just for a living. You've got to believe in the product.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

A good advertisement is one which sells the product without drawing attention to itself.

The pursuit of excellence is less profitable than the pursuit of bigness, but it can be more satisfying.

If you ever find a man who is better than you are - hire him. If necessary, pay him more than you pay yourself.

The more informative your advertising, the more persuasive it will be.

I did not feel 'evil' when I wrote advertisements for Puerto Rico. They helped attract industry and tourists to a country which had been living on the edge of starvation for 400 years.

Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.

If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.

Tell the truth, but make the truth fascinating.

Don't count the people that you reach, reach the people who count

Hot crumpets with butter and jam - what could be more ambrosial?

The pagan gods are not dead, but can return to topple science with superstition and modern man with besti*l pleasures that pre-date civilisation.

There is a heroism in crime as well as in virtue. Vice and infamy have their altars and their religion.

Sir Arthur Eddington deduces religion from the fact that atoms do not obey the laws of mathematics. Sir James Jeans deduces it from the fact that they do.

Regrets are only felt by those who do not understand life's purpose.

No matter how politely one says it, we owe our existence to the farts of blue-green algae.

She [Evelina] is not, indeed, like most modern young ladies; to be known in half an hour; her modest worth, and fearful excellence, require both time and encouragement to show themselves.

Canada's north is going to change a lot in the new few years. We have every resource imaginable up north.

I'm Larry Sanders. I'm a person. I'm a father. I'm an artist. I'm a writer. I'm a painter. I'm a musician. And sometimes I play basketball.

If there are no spots on a sugar cube then I’ve just put a dice in my tea.