Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

It is only those who do not know who wander the paths. A blind eye and a stout heart create a true wanderer. Those who seek the paths do so in vain

Procrastination is the kidnapper of souls, and the recruiting-officer of Hell.

No one has the right to hear the gospel twice, while there remains someone who has not heard it once.

You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed.

I knew that he was as reliable as a mathematical formula.

The image is where you have dinner at night, who you're seeing. It's what car you drive and how you dress. People in the industry sell that, and it creates a dream. There's nothing else.

Tolerance - the function of an extinguished ardor - tolerance cannot seduce the young.

The word democracy has no meaning. Duty has gone. Only rights remain.

Maybe life is a board game, but I never get to roll the dice.

Good grief! They're going to call us inside soon, and Sticky hasn't even met Madge yet!" "Who's Madge?" Sticky asked. "Her Majesty the Queen!