Good manners are a combination of intelligence, education, taste and style mixed together so that you don't need any of those things.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Your dreams become your reality if you have the courage to act on them.

Thinking differently is the key to improvement.

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity I do not understand it myself any more.

Deux fous gagnent toujours, mais trois fous, non!

He (Jesus) will reign over you, either by your consent, or without it.

People are just waiting around to get certified.

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.

Even Stalin proclaimed his love for democracy. We do not learn about the nature of systems of power by listening to their rhetoric.

It is always one's virtues and not one's vices that precipitate one into disaster.

The manner with which we walk through life is each man's most important responsibility, and we should remember this with every new sunrise.