Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Embrace adversities as the hidden treasures of life.

My function is to make whoever sees my films aware of his need to love and to give his love, and aware the beauty is summoning him.

I think President Bush tried to step up on Social Security even though the polls showed that was unpopular. He has not been successful and backed off, but I admire people who take on big problems.

Latin music has many international influences - pop, rock, country, Brazilian sounds, and alternative styles.

You can't expect that, after a poor fellow has written a book, he should also understand it.

Sometimes skulls are thick. Sometimes hearts are vacant. Sometimes words don't work.

Perfume is magic. It's mystery. We recreate the smell of a flower. Of wood. Of grass. We capture the essence of life. Liquefy it. We store memories. We make dreams.

The Samurai is the first to suffer anxiety for human society, and he is the last to seek personal pleasure.

Never lie to people, because the people you are able to lie to, are the people who trust you.

The assumption that anything true is knowable is the grandfather of paradoxes.