[Government's] great contribution to human wisdom...is the discovery that the taxpayer has more than one pocket.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Connection was always enough. Not touching. Not talking. Just a feeling that in the world your not alone.

When people say: she's got everything I've only one answer: I haven't had tomorrow.

My age and health will never allow me to realize the dream of art I've been pursuing all my life.

I won the city scoring championship as a senior.

We cannot live pleasantly without living wisely and nobly and righteously.

Truth is the object of our understanding, as good is of our will; and the understanding can no more be delighted with a lie than the will can choose an apparent evil.

I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.

Talk shows are proof that conversation is dead.

I cannot hold a grudge against Mariah Carey. What people don't understand is that I've looked up to her for so many years.

We all say no to war, we are all for justice and peace. But sometimes in order to maintain peace, armed action is necessary. But we hope it won't be the case.