Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.

‎'He often envied people who hadn't read his favourite books. They had such happiness before them.

Always start your day with positive thoughts and attitude of gratitude.

I had a lot of fun [on The Voice] and I learned a whole lot about reality TV, for one, and how they kind of use the artists as characters to make a hit TV show.

I couldn't make a real drum'n'bass or dubstep record to save my life. But I can be influenced by them in small ways.

Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence!

He thinks, I remembered you, Thomas More, but you didn't remember me. You never even saw me coming.

I often find that having an idea in my head prevents me from doing something else. Working is therefore a way of getting rid of an idea.

I love the American way of life.

I am fortunate in that I am motivated to do what I do by just a really goofy desire to do it. Maybe I have demons that are hidden away someplace, and I'll discover mine someday.

Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours.