Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Self-conquest is the greatest of victories.

There is only one answer to destruc-tiveness and that is creativity.

Contracts are not a holy relic in football. You can like this attitude or not, but it's the truth. Sometimes you have to think about if it is meaningful to try out a new impulse.

The longer I go on, the more I am aware of the power of finance.

I won't be skating for the rest of my life, that's for sure

There are as many ways to write songs as there are songs.

Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you've got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.

I want to be something special. I want to be known as a great female basketballer.

Neil Young is the prime example, the grand goal, if you will. He's still shredding, and he never lost his credibility.

One of those heavenly days that cannot die.