Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Our personalities, our intelligence, and our capabilities are gifts from [God’s] own bountiful hand. If we divert their use for our own profit, we become guilty of selfishness.

Without imagination nothing is dangerous.

I love luxury, I love the high life, and I have to foot the bills - I have received practically nothing from my marriages and relationships.

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.

The only thing I learnt in high school is that people are very violent and territorial.

Never, never have I been loved as I love others!

You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.

You can't work on the biceps and ignore the rest of the body, and you can't just say one issue is important when you are looking at how to make the world a better place.

What is science but the pursuit of the truth? What is Buddhism but 2500 years of observation as to the nature of mind?

What you are thinking, what shape your mind is in, is what makes the biggest difference of all.