Gratitude looks to the Past and love to the Present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Where God is not glorified, that place is sick

There is a lot of talk now about metal detectors and gun control. Both are good things. But they are no more a solution than forks and spoons are a solution to world hunger.

Those who believe in ghosts always see them.

A Tyrant is most tyrant to himselfe.

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume.

Vampires are such prima donnas.

How would you feel about life if Death was your older sister?

Continuity isn't actually something that I ever worry about. You use it where you need to, and you don't use it where you don't need to.

As you get older you realise that nothing lasts forever. It's not depressing, but it does make moments more intense.