Grover: It’s a very sweet love story. I get misty-eyed every time I play it. So does Percy, but I think that’s because he’s laughing at me.

Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie.

Percy: I thought I’d lost my mom forever, and I was stuck on a hill in a thunderstorm fighting this huge bull dude while Grover was passed out wailing. “Food!” It was terrifying, man.

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other’s clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz.

The 'all-for-me-and-only-me' mentality is the most destructive force on earth.

Politics is not a good location or a vocation for anyone lazy thin-skinned or lacking a sense of humour.

I am not a hero but the brave men who died deserved this honor.

Never," said my aunt, "be mean in anything; never be false; never be cruel. Avoid those three vices, Trot, and I can always be hopeful of you.

Some degree of abuse is inseparable from the proper use of everything.

It is in vain to ridicule a rich fool, for the laughers will be on his side.

An adventurer can always return home; an exile cannot. So I decided that my home would be culture.

Snakes and monkeys are subjected to the demon more than other animals. Satan lives in them and possesses them. He uses them to deceive men and to injure them.

The higher purpose of #‎ astrology is not to try to change one's destiny, but to fulfill it through growing in awareness

I work best when people are here to puncture me