Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn't much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

No one knows anything. You're going to make mistakes and you're going to do things that people think are stupid. You can't sit there and go, "I never want to make a mistake."

It's not like you get up on stage and you're immediately a genius. It takes a long time. So, don't be discouraged.

If a guy doesn't like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

A person being patient with an insane person is my favorite thing in the world.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

Yeah, improvising only really works 100% when you're with somebody.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

Oddly enough, I have really bad stage fright - getting up in front of people. And I made a living going on live television.

If you can't forgive yourself, you think you're never going to be able to forgive yourself.

Check your heart and make sure your intention steers you in the right direction.

Know what you do, when you do it and how you do it...You will thank me later!

I cannot see myself in a new car. I am a tiny white van person. That is what i want!

I poured out the torrent of my long-standing discontent and I challenged them to do and dare anything.

[In mathematics] There are two kinds of mistakes. There are fatal mistakes that destroy a theory, but there are also contingent ones, which are useful in testing the stability of a theory.

Like many air travelers, I am aware that airplanes fly aided by capricious fairies and invisible strings.

Every heart is made of stories.

Facing difficulties is inevitable. Learning from them is optional.

I don't know of any cases where as a result of religious precepts a population have found themselves enjoying less food than they would have if they didn't follow this particular religion.

The fan mail I get from kids are asking me questions which they do not ask their mothers and fathers. Because if they had, why write to me, a perfect stranger?