Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

There's something in everyone only they know.

I used to trust people easily, but now I'm a little careful because some experiences have taught me to not trust anyone blindly.

As a teenager, my favourite rejection was, 'She looks too healthy,' which of course translates as, 'She needs to lose weight.'

Isn't it easier to forgive than to hate? -Eriond

The truth and its opposite are flip sides of the same coin.

The principle of equity first came into evidence in Roman jurisprudence and was derived by analogy from the physical meaning of the word.

Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

There can be no doubt but that he who has the most materials has the greatest means of invention.

At the heart of the fractured soul of America is the frightening chasm of race.

It still hasn't kicked in yet. I haven't had a second to think about it. And I don't physically have the Grammy! So I can't even look at it!