Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Poetry, romance, beauty, and love have no book value, but life has no value without them.

It could be my eyes, but my eyes have more sparks than those coffees.

My darling husband, my heart is your home.

If God existed, he, for sure, had a vice of his own, a woman he could not say no to and, he would have acted the same way if he were in Johnny Kiddow’s position.

As natural and easy as it has been to be proud, it must become natural for us to be humble.

There's no need to bully; be kind to unwind!

The commandment to honor parents was given to ensure that the elderly, although they may not feel wanted by family or society, are still given their appropriate reward.

Renouncement: the heroism of mediocrity.

I'm not gonna be a slave. I'm a rock n' roller.

Language is an old-growth forest of the mind.