Gullibility is a knife at the throat of civilization.

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.

That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks.

Kittens will make your sad go away

John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas and farting a blue cloud of dinosaur souls.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

Start working on whatever you hesitate Because there is an ending to every beginning. When you make it to the end, You will realize the hesitation was a waste of time.

Cynicism does not cause inaction.

Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people i love?

You know if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes?

Whatever you do, let it be done with profound love.

If you can't open it, it's not your door. So, don't force it.

I can tell from the glint in her eyes that she’s at least an acquaintance of Dorothy.

I can tell by the way somebody walks if they can dance or not. Just by the rhythm.

Don't try to be a hero. Try to be a winner.

The mean reds are horrible. You're afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don't know what you're afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don't know what it is.

Vladimir Ilyich [Lenin], your concrete actions are completely unworthy of the ideas you pretend to hold.

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

Eternity looks grander and kinder if time grow meaner and more hostile.

Bad presidents make for great music, and I'm gonna do my best to provide it.