HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

When one person is missing the whole world seems empty.

I'm so patriotic, I think every British kid should have a chance to grow up to be our head of state.

The opinion of the majority or the minority is of no importance! The important thing is the opinion of the Truth, of the Reason, of the Logic, of the High Intelligence!

Giulia Melucci has written a wonderfully funny and moving book. It's like Eat, Pray, Love, with recipes.

The solution is always spiritual, and it almost never has anything to do with the problem ... laughter is carbonated holiness.

The avant-garde poet or artist tries in effect to imitate God by creating something valid solely on its own terms.

travel is compost for the mind

If we allow the love of Christ to change our heart, then we can change the world. This is the secret of authentic happiness.

Many cherish the idea that a photograph is an exact presentment of nature, and accept without question the paradox that a photograph cannot lie. Actually there never was a more unmitigated liar.