HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

When people try to pull you down, remember, they had to look up to do so.

I live, eat, spend, travel, support a family, entertain.....but I do not go to work. There is something wrong. My nest egg just keeps growing.

I know! WHY! – Am I so catty? – Cause I’m consumed with envy an’ eaten up with longing? –

It always seems impossible until it's done.

They shouldn't be allowed to teach math so early in the morning.

A lot of people bring it to me at conventions. At first I was going, "I can't sign that. That's not me." And now I just say, "Eh, whatever."

I don't have a crazy rider clause saying I have to stay at fancy hotels. I don't have a problem with staying at a Marriott. But I will admit that I've gotten just basic, regular service there.

The whole punk ethic was do-it-yourself, and I've always been very literal, especially as a kid. When they said that anybody can do this, I was like, 'OK, that's me.'

The source of your mind is love and whatever you do to go to that source, is spiritual practice.