HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.

Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping.

Writing is the voice of the heart' Julia Suzuki

I'm turning you into a girlchasing a butterfly, a she-wolfon a hilltop, & then back into a woman.

Good luck to you, " he said, and she remembered how he had looked at her as she pinned Yah Tayyib, as if she was some kind of monster.Maybe she was.

I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.

I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny on topic.

My dream since I was a kid was to show in a gallery.

Send not a Catt for Lard.

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

He who first called money the sinews of the state seems to have said this with special reference to war.