HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Seek wisdom, and success will find you.

Use the first moments in study. You may miss many an opportunity for quick victory in this way, but the moment the study are in insurance of success. Take your time and be sure.

If you consulted your business experiences instead of your ugly individualistic philosophy, you would know that believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter.

I'm not like a high intellectual. That's the thing.

It's weird, but if I decide to do an album, then the ideas start fitting themselves together. I consider myself a nice, slow burn. Plus, it's not a race. And I have a lot to share.

The older the grapes, sweeter the wine.

We don't always cry because we are weak, sometimes we cry because we have been strong, brave and courageous for way too long.

I didn't want to just write stories that were entertaining. Nor did I want to be so scholarly that people couldn't digest it.

The most corrosive piece of technology that I've ever seen is called television - but then, again, television, at its best, is magnificent.

People talk about curing autism. But if you got rid of all those traits, who's going to make the next computer?