Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

...she (the artist, the writer) doesn't wait for inspiration, she acts in the anticipation of its apparition.

Glamour comes from within. My beauty regime begins with my personality.

My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So. . .you're black.

Behold them, conquerors of the world, the toga-clad race of Romans!

I told my whole life story in my book.

When the correct technique feels wrong, different and confusing there is change and grow

I was just a small boy from Mississippi, and now little kids are going to identify with me through this game.

Earthly greatness is a nice thing, and requires so much chariness in the managing, as the contentment of it cannot requite.

Show business is made up of disappointments, and it's through life's disappointments that you grow.

The human body experiences a powerful gravitational pull in the direction of hope