Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.

Keep windows of your mind always open, and let the breeze of peace come in with the fragrance of happiness.

Don't bore the universe.

In a relationship each person should support the other they should lift each other up.

Something very significant appears to be happening in America. There is a dramatic shift in voter affinity toward the GOP, and it may prove to be the mountain-too-high for Barack Obama's campaign.

I’ll not complain about your boring life, if you just leave me to mine

Whether you're playing in the minor leagues or major-league divisions, wherever you are, it's always nice to be recognized as an All-Star.

Genius is supposed to be a power of producing excellences which are put of the reach of the rules of art: a power which no precepts can teach, and which no industry can acquire.

In all modesty, my summing up of 1955-6 and 1956-7 must be that no club in the country could live with Manchester United.

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.