Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine.

Wit had conquered science by laughing it out of court.

The history books which contain no lies are extremely tedious

As the evidence has shown, the cases of voter fraud across the country are statistically minimal if you go back decades.

France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?

Always dress to what is accurate to who and what you are.

I have always been a night person. When the sun goes down, my spirits rise. I'm more alert, quicker, more in tune with the rhythms of the world.

Treat your body well, and it'll see you through for many years.

I've always wanted to write poems and nothing else.

For a while it was hard for me to say no to work.

Active management is little more than a gigantic con game.