Hanging out with comics, all they did was make fun of me.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

This is the first rule of the last war:Trust No One

I am constantly torn between the will to be seen and still hidden so god damn well, a contradiction I never figured out.

Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.

I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oftentimes disagreeable... I suppose I'm larger than life.

You have people chopping off heads of Christians and others. Not since medieval times has anyone seen anything like this.

I like to imagine, if I was in the 1930s and was rich and a psychopathic killer, I probably would be moving about very freely and having a lot of fun.

Some of the craziest people Ive met, in my life, are some of the most brilliant people Ive met.

Women like to watch women fight because it makes them feel sort of empowered physically and mentally. They feel kind of jazzed and excited by it.

My advice to any filmmaker would be to figure out what it is that you bring to the table. What makes you different? What is your voice?

By the time I'm out of makeup, I'm ready to act.