Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Fear is the paralyzing emotion that inhibits or restricts normal feelings of love, confidence, and well-being.

I once choked on a chip at a friend's birthday when I was seven and had to be sent home, as I'd broken my collarbone coughing.

Like many authors, I caught the writing bug during my teenage years. I don't remember the exact day or year, but I remember that reading S.E. Hinton's 'The Outsiders' sparked my interest in writing.

Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.

My shoes are clean from walking in the rain.

Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don't like that.

I no longer believe that freedom and democracy are compatible.

You know, if I were an - if I were a Taliban, I'd say, 'What did al-Qaida ever do for me except get me kicked out of Afghanistan?'

Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line' through no fault of their own.

Brothers, the white people are like poisonous serpents: when chilled they are feeble and harmless, but invigorate them with warmth and they sting their benefactors to death.