Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

I spend a lot of time visiting local organisations.

Ah Japhy you taught me the final lesson of them all, you can't fall off a mountain.

Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.

A vain man finds it wise to speak good or ill of himself; a modest man does not talk of himself.

The definition of marriage cannot be disputed. It's right there in black and white and it's been the same since the start of Wikipedia.

I think that Africa has made quite rapid progress and a lot of the conflicts that we saw on the continent have abated.

A slavish bondage to parents cramps every faculty of the mind

Life's all about 'me' anyway

Sorrow is properly that state of the mind in which our desires are fixed upon the past without looking forward to the future.

I don't really dance for pleasure much." "Uh--so you, uh, usually dance professionally, or what?" Seb asked. "Yeah," said Nick. "The ballet is my passion.