Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Although other animals may be different from us, this does not make them LESS than us

The priority of the kingdom is the greatest message

I'm just a regular person who believes life is simple, and I like a simple life.

This process of election affords a moral certainty that the office of President will seldom fall to the lot of any many who is not in an eminent degree endowed with the requisite qualifications.

In the laughing times we know that we are lucky, and in the quiet times we know that we are blessed. And we will not be alone.

It’s the place of the story, beginning here, in the meadow of late summer flowers, thriving before the Atlantic storms drive wet and winter upon them all.

I have traveled a lot around the world and have seen a lot of people come to my programs... [and it made me realize] that people of all ages - from little children to elders - listen to my nasheeds.

Western culture has more need because they're so much more degenerated. They're so much more hurt, and misbalanced completely.

I'm not sure that the current value of the NASDAQ is justified, but I'm not sure that it isn't.

Have you ever written a letter you knew you could never mail but you needed to write it anyway?