Happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If you are filled with guilt and shame, it's because your heart remembers God but your head seems to have forgotten Him.

If there's a new way, I'll be the first in line.But, it better work this time.

Truth is not that which is demonstrable but that which is ineluctable.

Majorian presents the welcome discovery of a great and heroic character, such as sometimes arise, in a degenerate age, to vindicate the honor of the human species.

If we need simple narratives so people can amplify and spread them, are we forced to engage only with the simplest of problems?

It's a serve and pass game.

For small businesses, regulatory burdens can be overwhelming.

Damnit! Nationalism should stop at the stratosphere!

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp

Comedians... they're different from actors. There's more ego there. They create the whole thing, I guess, so they're more precious.