Happiness is the secret ingredient for successful businesses. If you have a happy company it will be invincible.

You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.

The balloons only have one life and the only way of finding out whether they work is to attempt to fly around the world.

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.

Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to.

If you look after your staff, they'll look after your customers. It's that simple.

Listen more than you talk. Nobody learned anything by hearing themselves speak.

Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming.

If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes-then learn how to do it later!

Never take your eyes off the cash flow because it's the life blood of business.

If people aren't calling you crazy, you aren't thinking big enough.

We don't need to pacify our issues, we need to crucify them.

Though their life was modest, they believed in eating well.

It's okay to remember, but it's also okay to forget too.

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.

I make this chief distinction between religion and superstition, that the latter is founded on ignorance, the former on knowledge.

You lie. Worse, you lie poorly.

I came up almost completely through the subsidised theatre. I have never been absolutely at the market interface, where I've got to sell my wares or die - I've always been protected from that.

Where do murderers go, man! Who's to doom, when the judge himself is dragged to the bar?

It doesn't bother me if my boyfriend gets a lap dance when I'm there. I'm secure with myself so whats the big deal?

In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.