Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

I’m thinking it would be very easy to love you. And easier to call you my friend.

Man is meant for good but designed for evil.

If god created man in his own image, how come I'm not invisible?

Every soul is to be cherished, every flower is to bloom.

The opportunity and the concept of merging music culture with actual boxing is exciting. It's bringing a younger demographic to the sport.

In the deepest slumber-no! In delirium-no! In a swoon-no! In death-no! even in the grave all is not lost.

Does Pete (Rose) hustle? Before the All-Star game he came into the clubhouse and took off his shoes and they ran another mile without him.

I believe my arrival was most welcome, not only to the Commander of the Fleet but almost to every individual in it.

Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score: Then to that twenty, add a hundred more.