Happy Cinco de Mayo! It’s a holiday that’s as respectful of Mexican traditions as Epcot Center’s Mexican food pavilion.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

A book is never finished it's abandoned.

Jesus tends to his people individually. He personally sees to our needs. We all receive Jesus' touch. We experience his care.

A simple mind and a loving heart is a source of miracle.

That boy never seemed to smile and he wore long sleeves year-round, and I was not so different from him—we were both unable to get near the real life in life.

Remember that happiness is as contagious as gloom. It should be the first duty of those who are happy to let others know of their gladness.

It's shocking when someone who is really bad thinks they're really good. It's heartbreaking, because singing is such a vulnerable thing to do.

The appetite for power is old and irrepressible in humankind, and in its action almost always destructive.

Do not unto others that which is hateful unto thee.

In real life, I try to be honest but not overshare. There are people that turn every conversation into a therapy session and you want to start charging them.

The helpless can't help the helpless.