Happy people rarely correct their faults; they consider themselves vindicated, since fortune endorses their evil ways.

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

A work can become modern only if it is first postmodern. Postmodernism thus understood is not modernism at its end but in the nascent state, and this state is constant.

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.

Nothing hinders a thing from being natural so much as the straining ourselves to make it seem so.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Most people know no other way of judging men's worth but by the vogue they are in, or the fortunes they have met with.

There are no accidents so unlucky from which clever people are not able to reap some advantage, and none so lucky that the foolish are not able to turn them to their own disadvantage.

I love to play the game of life.

The disruption of science is one which abandons the method and seeks to conquer grounds outside its territory. It is not at all religion but this pseudo-science that is the enemy of science.

I write in the morning, I walk in the afternoon and I read in the evening. It's a very easy, lovely life.

Realistic optimism allows us to experience the best until we have to deal with the worst ... which often, never comes.

Methods of locomotion have improved greatly in recent years, but places to go remain about the same.

The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret of outward success.

I will not talk to God about how big my problems are. I will talk to my problems about how big my God is. This is my declaration.

The enterprise, by definition, must be capable of producing more or better than all the resources that comprise it.

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.