...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

It's a very brave thing to fall in love. You have to be willing to trust somebody else with your whole being, and that's very difficult, really difficult and very brave.

When we allow the genius of simple nature to flow through us we become every genius who has ever lived.

It is not the creation of wealth that is wrong, but the love of money for its own sake.

Young people and adults need equitable relationships-they do not need equal ones.

There is a natural limit to the success we wish our friends, even when we have spurred them on their way.

Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it will succeed.

It's not good to make sentimental journeys. You see the differences instead of the sameness.

To me, the responsibility of an actor is to recreate humanity honestly. I never feel like an actor, I always look at it from a blue collar perspective.

On Michael Moore TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.

A strong body makes the mind strong.