Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often students, for heaven's sake.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

You doan go diggin' for gold in an outhouse.

The only thing that restricted us from becoming one was our MINDS!

She was the kind of woman a person could die over or kill over.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

I grew up in a family where the women were just nuts. They didn't stand around in cardigans making polite conversation while they chopped tomatoes.

To change what you get, you must change who you are.

That's my sole purpose in life is to sit here today and tell you that you can do this, in any life. You can do this in one of your past lives, in a future life, or right now. I prefer now.

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

A nonreader is somebody standing there in a blindfold.

Don't think that you can make up for it by working twice as hard tomorrow. If you have it within your power to work twice as hard, why aren't you doing it now?