Have a great day. Note: does not apply to my enemies.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Faithfulness is produced by the Holy Spirit in a yielded Christian life.

Adults are tempted to produce and perform Christmas for their kids and their families, and they arrive at Christmas Day weary and disillusioned.

These archetypal older women in movies can sometimes make my skin crawl. It's about the one dimension it's about the lack of any texture.

I'm probably a bit romantic about it, but I think we humans miss having contact with fire. We need it.

Beauty in all things-no, we cannot hope for that; but some place set apart for it.

You'll never see the hacienda. It doesn't exist. The hacienda must be built.

God is back and Europe as a whole still doesn't get it. It is our biggest single collective cultural and intellectual blind spot.

There is a great amount of poetry in unconscious fastidiousness.

No one wanted to spontaneously combust into flames, especially not in traffic.’ – Sundown

The first time I took a Kundalini yoga class, I cried my eyes out afterwards. I was so moved by the meditation and singing "Long Time Sun" at the end of class. I felt like I was home.