Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Sometimes things become possible if we want them bad enough.

Love does not envy, does not boast, does not delight in evil but rejoice in truth.

Shuki’s wisdom: "Sometimes things happen, and the only choice you have is to accept it, and learn to make a life anyway.

It seems some have chosen to ignore or have simply forgotten the big-picture vision promoted by Dr. King and his kin.

Sometimes it feels as if everything in life is just something we haul into the grave.

In business and in politics a man must carve and maul his way through men to get to be King of the Mountain. Once there, he can be great and kind-but he must get there first.

People like Elizabeth Dole have given too much power to the special interests.

The least a person can ask out of life is to be needed by someone.

Motivation is like nutrition. It must be taken daily and in healthy doses to keep it going

I realize what you can do when you scare the population and how media contributes to that.