Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

It's worth remembering that in 1965, something like 20% of Americans were against the war. Something like 70% were for the war. So, it wasn't a popular or an easy thing to do.

We are minor in everything but our passions.

It takes a while to tell stories, I think it's because I was drunk for three years.

We're the greatest athletes in the world without a doubt.

It does not require money to be neat, clean and dignified.

I just want my children to be happy. And to be good people. Proper people. That's all.

The #lotus comes from the #murkiest #water.. but #grows into the #purest thing.

I've always shot on film, but the times are changing.

Feelings can't be a part of this game.

I love driving around east London - it's always full of surprises. Actually, I don't drive myself - I like to be driven.