Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Your family will flourish when decisions are guided by the Lord—the head of your household.

Faith You have is small but it can change your life

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can't learn one more thing.

Lawsuits - and frivolous lawsuits - are just sapping the life out of the people who perform the services and deliver the goods for the rest of the citizenry in the State of Montana.

Envying another's beauty will diminish your own. But when you praise beauty in others your own beauty deepens.

For me, bondage makes me feel powerless and annoyed. It's like, can you untie me?

The most exciting periods of literature have always been those when the critics were great.

You and I, we have moments left to share. You and I, we can make it anywhere. You and I, we belong in each other's arms, there can be no other love. Now I know we can have it all... Forever.

The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained.