"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.

The number of ways you can live in one lifetime is limitless. So why limit yourself? The sky is NOT the limit. Beyond the universe is.

Beauty is given to dolls, majesty to haughty vixens, but mind, feeling, passion and the crowning grace of fortitude are the attributes of an angel.

Testing leads to failure, and failure leads to understanding.

Most people outside of America won't get it. It's the Easter bunny. It's another lie and I don't understand why we had to invent this character.

I don't think any good book is based on factual experience. Bad books are about things the writer already knew before he wrote them.

Judge not; speak hardly at all; love and act.

Beneath every history, another history.

A fast to be true must be accompanied by a readiness to receive pure thoughts and determination to resist all Satan's temptations.

Just because you put higher-octane gasoline in your car doesn't mean you can break the speed limit. The speed limit's still 65.