Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Magically, hopelessness gives rise to profound hope.

This is your first and final chance, your one and only biography.

If so many people love me, how come I'm alone?

I love a tree more than a man.

All things come to those who go after them.

Poisinet's verses are like spoiled children - loved only by their father.

I walked towards my fate with my destiny standing solidly by my side

The best part of being a vegan is the purity and peace of mind one experiences and the strong connection I feel to the animal kingdom.

We forget to thank the scientists that began these musical inventions and systems. The guy that invented the phonograph and gramophone - Thomas Edison!

I welcome new words, or old words used in new ways, provided the result is more precision, added color or greater expressiveness.