Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

When you have lived your individual life in your own adventurous way and then look back upon its course, you will find that you have lived a model human life, after all.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'

I see no clear reason why the doctrine of self-interest properly understood should turn men away from religious beliefs.

If we're gonna win, we have to play up to and beyond our potential.

Somebody said that I am the last American living the tragedy of Europe.

Weariness is the shortest path to equality and fraternity-and finally liberty is bestowed by sleep.

Well, look who I ran into," crowed Coincidence. "Please," flirted Fate, "this was meant to be.

I think the idea of creating a television news source that is not beholden to corporate interests is nirvana.

What's the future of mankind? How do I know, I got left behind.

I was struggling to find a way to make evening clothes more deconstructed. I like to think that I translated the Latin concept in a more modern way. I don't think that I was that literal.