He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts.

Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

The game is full of peaks and valleys, the key is to avoid the Grand Canyon.

Good mothers are underrated, just like good defense.

They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks.

If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

Mario Lemieux is Mr. Pittsburgh.

Wish and Wisdom are pals. Wisdom consoles at the fall of Wish and Wish cheers up when Wisdom is at wrong foot!

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

I think every first-person narrator in a novel should be compromised. I prefer that word to unreliable.

Passitivity and quietism are invitations to war.

Language may die at the hands of the schoolman: it is regenerated by the poets

The measure of a man is in the lives he’s touched.

Once people get hung up on theology, they've lost sanity forever.

You are pooped and demoralised,” read Dwayne. “Why wouldn’t you be? Of course it is exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn’t meant to be reasonable.

I mean, it's unheard of for somebody to hit 70 home runs, so I'm like in awe of myself right now.

There are very few joys in life greater than spontaneity. Spontaneity means to be in the moment; it means acting out of your awareness, not acting according to your old conditionings.