He ate a pear. It was a hard one. It fought back against his grinding teeth. It snapped in juicy protest.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go.

The scars and stains of racism are still deeply embedded in the American society.

Activating our light and our full potential requires that we embrace our shadow. Realizing our wholeness requires us to become big enough to hold our brokenness.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

You won't be caught off guard and you won't feel guilty, because you'll be spending money that you've allocated for the occasion.

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

As Americans, which I suffer from myself, we have ADD.

All of us should be on guard against beliefs that flatter ourselves. At the very least, we should check such beliefs against facts.

Just it's as close to magic as you can get in America, education.

A person who undertakes to grow a garden at home, by practices that will preserve rather than exploit the economy of the soil, has his mind precisely against what is wrong with us.