He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Outlines are the last resource of bad fiction writers who wish to God they were writing masters' theses.

We spend our lives waiting for our book and it never comes.

Learn to always trust God in all situation, learn to forgive those who wrong u in order to receive your daily bread from God

I've learned to stay the course. There are no shortcuts. No detours. They take you further away from your goal.

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd be a drag queen for sure. I like all that flair and I'd be dressing up in them high heels and putting on the big hair. I'd be like Ru Paul.

I suffer for my art and despise the witless moneyed scoundrels who praise it.

Tribe cats are named after the first thing their mother sees, but I thing this would lead to a lot of kits being named 'wall of cave', 'side of cave' and 'floor of cave

There are people who think that everything one does with a serious face is sensible.

Ultimately, I am very filmmaker oriented, as a producer.

...All my best words are deserters and do not answer the trumpet call, and the remainder are cripples.