He has been greatly missed since his retirement ... Thank God for videotapes and DVDs. In this regard, he will always be around.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Think that today is the best day of your life and, with love and kindness, change yourself to begin the first day of the rest of your existing life.

Discipline is to present us before grace, it does not produce grace to make sense.

Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.

Attitude determines the altitude of life.

A college education shows a man how little other people know.

Mother-love is not inevitable. The good mother is a great artist ever creating beauty out of chaos

Forgiveness is a powerful expression of the love within our soul.

No boy is worth your teenage years!.

In a perfect world we don't want to be overly dependent on any single asset or be so dependent on the cycle or where one asset is the bulk of this company.

Just the sound of his voice twists my stomach into a knot of unpleasant emotions like guilt, sadness and fear. And longing. I might as well admit there’s some of that too.