He has been known by many names: Lucifer, Beelzabub, Belial, the Prince of Lies, Satan, and at a party once an obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude."

Every week when my batch of weekly cartoons would go to FedEx, it felt like a small miracle. Then in a few days, it's 'Here we go again.'

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut.

The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! Wait, wait... Oh, my mistake - that's the intercom light.

It is the beauty of life that makes our lives worth living.

Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

On marriage to Jonny Lee Miller: It comes down to timing. I think he's the greatest husband a girl could ask for. I'll always love him, we were simply too young.

I suppose [...] that the most convincing way to fool an enemy would be to fool a friend.

I am producing sounds that people are not used to hearing from the harp.

Jesus, our head, is already in heaven; and if the head be above water, the body cannot drown.

I should prefer to die laughing, and, on more than one occasion, thought I might.

Promises were a lot like impressions. The second one didn't count for much.

That's really what wealth does for you. It gives you freedom to make choices.

Man is certainly the most disgusting kind of worm that has ever crawled on this stupid ugly planet.