He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

It must be awfully frustrating to get a small raise at work and then have it all eaten by a higher cost of commuting.

I think it's inevitable that there will be Earthlings establishing a presence on Mars. And I would say that it would certainly take place by 2050 or shortly thereafter.

The next-most difficult thing in the world is to get perspective. The most difficult is to keep it.

There, that is our secret: go to sleep! You will wake, and remember, and understand.

Vanity is a vital aid to nature: completely and absolutely necessary to life. It is one of nature's ways to bind you to the earth.

By revolution we become more ourselves, not less.

The hard part is implementing the decision, not making it.

You have no control over how much talent you possess. You control only what you do with it.

Guys are much more obvious than they think they are.

The world makes way for the man with an idea.