He is so aware of being politically correct he refers to a taco as Hispanic food.

A decorator can make lots of money - assuming she wins the lottery.

He's always been known to be entrepenurious.

Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet and I resent it. It's simple he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

They say the Japanese don't experience menopause or hot flashes. If that's the case why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?

I don't give my weight. I weigh a hundred and plenty.

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

Nature hides its secrets in wisdom

It doesn't really matter what time it is if you haven't determined what to do with your time.

Old Tubal Cain was a man of might In the days when earth was young.

Social issues have been used to distract Americans from their own self interests since Nixon's southern strategy, and now people are paying the price.

I have done a lot of theater.

The abode of God, too, is wherever is earth and sea and air, and sky and virtue. Why further do we seek the Gods of heaven? Whatever thou dost behold and whatever thou dost touch, that is Jupiter.

Expect the unexpected in the kingdom of madness!

Failure is part of the process of success.

Democracy means despair of finding any heroes to govern you, and contented putting up with the want of them.

Let no guilty man escape, if it can he avoided. . . . No personal consideration should stand in the way of performing a public duty.