He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

The only person who is spiritually smart is the one who has learned how to learn, unlearn, and change directions instantly, and start all over again, if your soul calls for it.

Leading people is like cookingDon’t stir too much
It annoys the ingredients
And spoils the food

I just watched this documentary on the mating habits of whiptail lizards and trust me, if those things can make it happen, you can too, my friend.

It was all her doing. She had cried wolf and the wolf had come.

So lively brisk old fellow don't let age get you down. White hairs or not you can still be a lover.

To make certain that crime does not pay the government should take it over and try to run it.

Ants are the leading removers of dead creatures on the land. And the rest of life is substantially dependent upon them.

No, it is not because woman is lacking in responsibility, but because she has too much of the latter that she demands to know how to prevent conception.

We mustn't forget how quickly the visions of genius become the canned goods of intellectuals.

Tip of the day- Don't smash your face!