He's got a box with a demon in it that draws pictures, " said Rincewind shortly. "Do what the madman says and he will give you gold.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

When you fill your soul by listening to and acting on your intuition, you'll find yourself moving toward the fulfillment of your dreams.

We are the transition from one education to the other.

Spontaneous combustion of grassroots politics is the future.

If there wasn't mystery, people wouldn't have anything to ponder. If you already knew everything, you wouldn't have anything to think about and life would just be really boring.

I think the artists of the recession will end up being a very strong force in the future. They learned about survival.

We celebrate the First Advent to whet our appetites for the Second. We long for the next coming.

Should any man tell you that a mountain had changed its place, you are at liberty to doubt it if you think fit; but if any one tells you that a man has changed his character, do not believe it.

Always live up to your standards — by lowering them, if necessary.

The essence of analysis is surprise. When people are themselves surprised by what they say, that's when they are really making some progress.

Maybe you've had skin next to your skin, but when was the last time you let yourself be touched?