He’sh mad?’ ‘Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money.’ ‘Ah, then he can’t be mad. I’ve been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he’sh just ecshentric.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Your daily choices and actions should be rational and productive

When a man no longer confuses himself with the definition of himself that others have given him, he is at once universal and unique.

Now I know the full power of evil. It makes ugliness seem beautiful and goodness seem ugly and weak.

Even if you are new in sales, you can make up in numbers what you lack in skills.

The worst part about the job is the travel, which takes you away from family and friends and important dates and hockey games and tournaments that your kids are in and things like that.

Picasso said once when being interviewed that one should not be one's own connoisseur.

For me it's always God, family, and then my work.

You are not your past.

Anybody who is a fan of any team is going to recognize themselves in this.

I think it's sort of a rite of passage for a British actor to try and get the American accent and have a good crack at doing that.