He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

i wish you could understand me, but of course it is not the way of this world that we are ever completely understood.

Being brave is not for the light-hearted. Bravery takes fortitude—the very act of bravery prevents anyone from knowing you were ever afraid in the first place.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

The idea of Ghost Stories is how to turn something bad into something that gives you an uplift.

The kinds of things that we can make mistakes about are essentially unlimited in number.

I am the darker brother. They send me to eat in the kitchen when company comes, but I laugh, and eat well, and grow strong.

I was born black and female.

People hide the truth because they're afraid.

The ear is the only true writer and the only true reader.

Derek Jarman shared the responsibility for making the film. He didn't necessarily know what he wanted - he knew what he didn't want - but you had to keep coming up with stuff.